Where's the time?

Eons ago, you could write a book, print it out, send it off in a book box and get a rejection or, if it appealed to someone, find an agent or editor. 

No longer so!

Now, you need an "Author Platform;" A presence on the web, really on the world, that says you are somehow connected, not just five ways to Kevin Bacon, but to half a million people you have never met in person. These are people who like to read your written word.

I do understand. It's a built in audience for your book. What I do not understand is how you have the trim to write a book, when you need to build a website, blog, tweet, LinkedIn, and be entertaining on Facebook, which I find to be quite a depressing site whose main function is to point out to me, "Am I REALLY related to these people?" I am already convinced that I did not go to school with half the people who say they were in my class. My memory cannot be that bad.

So, my apologies for being missing from my site for so long. I have been running another edit to cut wordcount. It has either tightened my work up or killed it dead. I have long ago decided I am not the person to judge my own work, so, in the near future I am thinking about putting up two clips. 1. from when I started the book, and 2. after twenty-five edits. We shall see, because right now I am focusing on my Author Platform.

I found a nice article on The Creative Penn. There is a ton of information on building your platform and what it is and isn't. One is A Definition of Author Platform by Jane Friedman.

Now, I know that I need "visibility, Authority, and reach." I think I also need about twelve more hours in a day. Guess I shall give up my afternoon nap. I cannot give up housecleaning as I gave that up long ago.

AgentQuery Connect

Things seem to fall into your lap just when you need them. I am eternally working on my query letter and I've just discovered AgentQueryConnect.

AgentQueryConnect has a neat feature where you post your query letter and/or your synopsis and fellow writer members critique them. Within minutes of posting my, what I thought was polished query, I had my first critique. Don't forget, I have been researching and working on this Query for months and months.

When I wrote my first manuscript, a mystery novel, I went to 'Of Dark and Stormy Nights' mystery conference, in Chicago. I had a novel critique with a published Mystery author and her words to me were, "Would you like the name of my agent?"

I then, in true newby fashion, sent off a query letter (with absolutely no idea what one was) and, to make matters worse, without a finished manuscript in place. I was near finished, I was barely edited and I knew I had plotting problems.

This time around, I have worked for four years to learn plotting, character, everything I possibly can to make this book the best I can do. I have spent the last two years, while waiting for it to perk in my head and be critiqued by others, researching all the editor/agent/writer blogs for what makes a good query/synopsis/longline, you have it. But, there is always room for improvement and my first critique on AgentQueryConnect proved that to me.

I'm off to bed now, although I literally slept most of the day today, and hope to get back to polishing my query in the morning.

LESSON TO LEARN: Do NOT send your query off first to your very favorite pick of an agent. If you do, you will be sorry five queries later when you discover that it needs to be polished more.

I'm BACKKKKKKKK!!! and finding my voice!

And, I am hoping that this is a condition that continues. Absolutely no guarantees in this world where it took me two computers and twenty minutes to get on-line yesterday.

I have finally made friends with my Inspiron. Yes, I did have to restore it to factory settings twice and am holding my breath the external modem keeps working.

I am slowly making friends with my new eyes too. I should say "lens'" as that is really all that is new, after cataract surgery. My left eye seems better and I am adjusted to reading blurred until I can get a script for reading glasses.

Now, to the fun things in life. I am excited about my book again. I have two great editors now. The new one, who is reading it as a brand new reader of the book, is excited about it and has given me some good input. She's as full of ideas as my first editor is. I like to have a reader who is picking the book up blind, with no idea where it is coming from or even what my writing style is. She has never read anything by me before and is looking at it with a clean eye, so to speak. (Yes, I am obssessing on this eye thing a wee bit.)

Both editors have helped me find my voice and say what I want to say in a new and unique way. I had a pottery teacher like that in Casper, Wyoming. He could see through what I was trying to do, right to what I really wanted and needed to do, and lead me in that way.

I had set myself a deadline of March 1st, to get the book out, but it is so much better now and it needs to be "all it can be." Hmmmm, what made me think of that?

Oh, yeah, my grandson/son is graduating from basic training the first of April and we are going to sunny Oklahoma for the ceremony. He phoned today and told me it was 70 degrees one day and they woke up, on their camping trip, to five below, an ice storm and rain. So, how do you pack for that?

I am not actually all that excited about driving thirteen hours but am anxious to give him a hug. The motel has high speed, so I can let let you know what the weather is.

I also need to thank a very special grandson for the funding for this trip.

The most important paragraph you will ever write!

The most important paragraph you will ever write is probably the second paragraph of your query. This paragraph is your teaser, the paragraph that will take the agent/editor’s feet off his desk as he sits up with delight in his eyes and a deep desire to read the rest of your manuscript.

The following two paragraphs were in my entry for: Mandy Hubbard - Query Day is Here!

Alex is the youngest of a neglected trio of brothers with the will to survive. When the brothers flee their home, they journey to a land ruled by the Thunderer of the Iroquois nation and guarded by a fierce black dragon man. As they strike out on a quest for security and friendship, they find that learning can be full of magic, compassion does exist, friends come in all sizes, and some battles are worth fighting. (You will notice this is very near what I have on this blog side bar. I would not have left that up, had it been successful in the query. You do not want editor's/agents reading the same thing twice.)

Moon Tree Brothers is an fantasy novel told through the eyes of the youngest brother, Alex, age eleven. Alex’s battle, in this the first in the series, is to make life safe for the sisters they left behind, complete the education he has not been given at home, and stay out of trouble when he is used to being alone and out in the night.

Mandy Hubbard's critique:
So, I’m having a hard time with this one. You’re telling us a lot. But you’re not showing us much. All I know about Alex is he’s a neglected 11 year old. I think you spend too much of your query trying to summarize the themes of your novel instead of setting it up and trying to hook us. Don’t tell us what they’ll learn: show us what their challenge is in the beginning of the book.

Try something closer to:

“Alex LASTNAME is eleven years old when he leaves the only home he’s ever known in favor of a long journey to FOREIGNPLACE. But he, along with his two brothers, are determined to succeed in order to find a safe haven for their sisters.

"But the journey is complicated by X factor and Y event, and Alex begins to wonder if he’s made a mistake. Can he really make it all the way to FOREIGN PLACE?

"Hmm, see, I can’t even write the query for you because I truly have no idea what your story is about. You’ve got a 5 paragraph query and of it, only about three sentences pertain to the events of the book, and a few more are listing out the lessons we’re going to learn along the way. (NEVER preach the lesson’s we’ll learn, let us discover them ourselves!)."

I am now working on another version of my query. I want to make sure any editor/agent I submit to cannot wait to get my manuscript. And, do not forget that you want to tailor your query to each agent/editor individually.

I believe the lesson here is: write your query as well as you write your manuscript. How many years did you work on your book?

Synopsis should retell your story - part #3

I have already mentioned and want to remind you that you are sending out a packet to submit your manuscript for publication. This is highly serious stuff. You have very few words with which to capture their attention, so do not waste words by repeating them.

Presuming you are sending the first fifty pages of your manuscript with your synopsis, remember that they are, hopefully, going to be reading at least the first few sentences of each.
Do you really want those first few sentences, that will make or break your chances, to be identical? That cuts, by half, the well crafted words you have written that they read.

OPEN YOUR SYNOPSIS WITH:

o Set up context of story
o Who is main character
o How old is main character, in the case of writing for youth,
o The setting
o The Events or circumstances that open your story
o Include actual scenes in glowing detail, not just a summary
o Connect the dots with your own summarizing

YOUR WRITING:
o Include indelible image in first couple of paragraphs to WOW them
o Use vivid, sensual images
o Portray, actual scenes in glowing detail, not just summary
o Surprising juxtaposition of words
o Fresh emotional element
o Make it compelling
o You may gloss over the premise, since the editor/agent will be reading those first fifty pages (which includes premise and introduces protagonist), but be very sure to make it very clear how it all fits into the overall arc of the book

YOUR GOAL:
o to convince agent or editor that the rest of your manuscript is every bit as interesting and action-packed as first fifty pages
o To summarize the entire book and show conclusion
o To make work come alive and show it is unique and interesting

SHOW:
o you have vision and tenacity to take compelling characters through first chapter to satisfying conclusion
o Point of view ie first-person/third-person omniscient/etc
o Build suspense, relieve it

THIS IS A retelling of your story, in your voice, showing conflicts and challenges of your characters.

Next post: A list of questions to answer to get your synopsis started in the right direction.

What my personal editor taught me

Here is a flower from my garden, this past summer. 'Tis the season to cover the garden at night, pick the seeds and run in to warm up. I ran in last night to a great email from my personal editor.

YIPPEE!! Last night I received a partial first chapter edit from Master’s Daughter. Gosh, what an eye opener.

FIRST: All my charts and trying to keep track: I am new to Word and never had a Word Processor before that had comments on it. As a legal secretary, I had long used WordPerfect, at work and home. The last few updates though have taken it down the tubes. It jams constantly. The charts I have been making are being, figuratively, burned and I am using comments to put in foreshadowing etc. It also helps my editor, daughter, know that yes, this is an important point to leave in. Honest girl, it will make sense some day.

This will really help me too as some things are mentioned because it is laying a bit of groundwork for book two or three, and even five, in this five book series.

SECOND: Oh, how long ago Jr High school was. I did teach art to Jr High students for three weeks a summer, for five years. JRockGuitarMan, one of my step-son/grandson/ward came to live with me and entered seventh grade, so I had a refresher. But, there are things I just need to keep in mind and I was not. While, I may not always act my age, I have forgotten some of how a Jr High student’s mind works and Master’s daughter teaches them every day, so she is catching those things.

Her comments include:

“Reader is now thinking …”
“Needs transition”
“Reader’s thought: Is ‘glint’ an object or a reflection?”
“This doesn’t seem to fit here; awkward.”
And more

I worked on her comments and am now ahead of her edit and hoping to send the rest of Chapter 1 and then chapter 2 in a few days. Somehow, I must have sent her a partial first chapter. We are going to work on this chapter by chapter. It will be so much easier to track things now with Words comments.

I feel like I am back on track, thanks to my own personal editor.

Master's Daughter plays head games

I do believe that my non-paid technical editor is playing some head game on me. It's not like she does not have enough to do, that she would spend time to actually make her mother think her mother (me) is going crazy.

On the 22nd she wrote, "I haven't had a chance to download the chapters." (I had sent her the next six) "I hope the edit I sent last week wasn't too discouraging." Whow! Great way to get my attention. She sent me back my first four chapters, edited and discouraging???? Where are they?

Okay, I got this late at night, and of course, I spent two hours searching for the missing email. Not in Spam, nor in deleated, nor in read, nor in new. I had messages about Christmas presents and about her Soldier son. There was a joke or two about ear plugs and Palin, not in the same vein mind you, althought that might have been a good idea. But, nowhere is there a "discouraging" or otherwise edit from Master's Daughter.

I wrote and told her I had not received the edit and that I would not consider a critique discouraging. I am an artist. I have been critiqued for twenty years. I can handle it. I would rather find out what is wrong from her before I submit and get a form rejection letter. I can hardly trust my own judgement on this as I ALWAYS think something, mostly everything, is wrong with my work. I will never submit my book if I go totally on my own instincts. I will edit the life out of it and out of me.

So, here I sit, watching to see my mail jump from 80, in my in box. I save mail, okay, so shoot me. It is still not jumping to 81.

Oh, I just looked. She sent me that note on the 23rd. Honestly, I thought it was like four days ago. Okay, so I cannot be too irritated. She does have a life. It is just, WHAT IS WRONG, GIRL??? I have serious revision work to do and I want to get started.

Are you out Trick or Treating again??

Wednesday with the Writer's Journal

It is again the Aspiring Writer's Journal Amazon.com: The Aspiring Writer's Journal: Susie Morgenstern, Theresa Bronn: Books for Wednesday.

I am not following it like a journal, doing each assignment on the correct date. I tend to jump around for inspiration. Today, I landed (after only three tries) on October sixth, "Become an editor!" and critiquing a friends novel. I do not have a friend writing a novel, at least none that admit it. Master's daughter is working on Children's Picture books, but says it is slow going with all the rest that life is handing her.

As an art teacher, I know from critiquing student's work that it is always best to begin on a positive. So find something, anything that you can say that is positive. There are many sites telling you how to critique a novel, including: Writing a Critique of a Novel.

We have a little joke in our family. My mother often provides these types of jokes and once she was asked, by a fellow art student, for an opinion on the student's newest painting. Mother had a dilemma: to lie and say something wonderful about it or to tell the truth and hurt the ladies feelings. She paused for a moment, ostensibly studying this great work of art, but really thinking about what to say, and she came up with, "It sure is green."

Amazingly, this pleased the student, who went away smiling and it resolved mom's moral dilemma. It also became family code for 'ugly.' It sure does sparkle, glow, have big flowers, is bright, etc now replaced "awful ugly." There is always something positive you can say, if you look hard enough.

There are many ways to save a writer's feelings and give them information that will help them improve their work. We all started somewhere and usually that was at the beginning. I've always thought that anyone can learn to paint well enough for their own enjoyment, if they spend the time working at it. Like playing piano, it is the hours spent in practice that make the difference.

Submitting my novel to Master's Daughter

I am one third of the way through my line edit. Since the first chapter has been edited a gazillion times, and the last two chapters are not complete, it will get slower as I go. I thought though that you might like to see my instructions to Master’s Daughter, who is doing an edit of my book. She is a teacher, mother of three (four, counting her bear of a husband), and a knitter with a busy life. I decided to send her installments so she can edit them at her leisure and not open her email and go, “OH NO!!” She did know it was coming eventually.

Dear loving and patient daughter, who is doing me an enormous favor:

I am attaching my completed chapters 1 through 7.

I am basically doing my final edit (till the very last two chapters) and have completed the attached, so rather than flooding you will all of it at once, I thought submitting it in installments might be better.

Believe me, I know you are busy and this is low on your list. So, don't panic. "Oh, no. I have to grade papers, feed children, knit, enjoy life and here's this thing." Don't worry. Just grab it when you are in the mood.

Mainly, I need checks on punctuation, grammar, tense, etc.
Second, IF YOU WANT, mark up anything else that needs help.

I want honesty. Total honesty. Because if you think it's crap, and you have read a lot of sixth grade novels, then there is a good chance editors/agents will agree. I would rather turn around and start something new and "hopefully not crap", or fix this (if there are just minor problems) than waste time on something that is going nowhere. I will not be heartbroken, perhaps bent a bit, but not broken.

One thing they say is , it is good to have editors put their first gut feeling in places that are either like "Wow, awesome scene." "Really tense" "Boring and slow" "What the hell is this about?" "Don't understand" "You are the second coming of ***" or "Go take a course in advertising copy. Maybe you can write that."

If you catch anything wrong, please mark it. Like not wrapping up plot points or "What the heck is the Plot supposed to be."

Love you.
Mom