Colons and commas and Semi-Colons, OH MY!!!!

It has been a long time since I was in school and found it essential to have good grammar and punctuation skills. Hence, I have pulled out my trusty copy of Diana Hacker's A Writer's Reference. http://www.amazon.com/Writers-Reference-Diana-Hacker/dp/031202455X/ref=sr_11_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1243211518&sr=11-1

I have re-learned/re-freshed my skills with colons and semi-colons and commas; colons being those pesky things which I use way too often.

Okay, was that right? Is that second half of "equal grammatical rank?"

My real lesson with this book though, has been tense.

About a year ago, I entered one of agent, Nathan Bransford's contests. Nathan Bransford - Literary Agent. Occasionally, this masochistic man will offer to read a bazillion entries of the first "x" number of words of any novel you are working on. I was not one of the winners but I did take another reader's offer of critiquing them and the first thing he said, is that I had two tenses going on.

I thought I had gone in and corrected this, but I knew I had not been thorough enough, so after my character charts were over, I started from word one and began reading the book, sentence by sentence. My first page or so was in present tense, then I slipped (with no good reason, if there ever is one) to past tense.

For some reason, if I can keep my Writer's Reference, right beside my laptop, to keep glancing at, page 39, it becomes clear to my foggy brain.

Now, if I can just do something about run-on sentences, in my blog!!!

A "Just for Fun" Post, and now I shall hide.

This is the first time I am posting an identical post on this blog and on my personal blog: Savanvleck’s Weblog

Master’s daughter always gives the greatest gifts. I have received a Japanese tea set, a miniature Stonehenge (we’re still waiting for a Scottish fellow to time travel through), a circular knitting sock kit, complete with a neat bag, and “The Aspiring Writer’s Journal.”

Too bad she can’t give me a better memory, because I know there are more neat gifts, but I cannot remember them at this moment. They are always a delight and a complete surprise, and will be again when I find what I have done with them.

So, my inspiration for today, (“Ahem! Ahem!” She cleared her throat, commanding attention.) is a page in the Writer’s Journal, she gave me.

The assignment is:— Make up a story beginning with the following quotation-
“When Sleeping Beauty wakes up, she is almost fifty years old.”

I have changed the opening line, but the premise is there.

(Okay, I cannot believe I am going to embarrass myself this way, but what the heck? Here it is, complete with errors in punctuation and dangling participles.)
~~~~~~~~~~~

Sleeping Beauty woke from her near eternal sleep and gasped for air. My, how tight my corset doth feel. Hands above her head, she stretched—and screamed.

“Spots! What are these spots! There are brown spots on my hands and arms?”

Blankets flew as she surged to the mirror, her body half bent over.

“Kricky!” she said, being a fan of British blogs. “Oh my aching back! Heads will roll for not removing the peas under my mattress and, speaking of pees, I do believeth I am damp. What, in blazes, goeth on?”

Lines stared back from the mirror. These were the final insult as Sleeping Beauty, who was all of eighteen when she fell into her near eternal sleep, ‘twas now fifty. She lay sobbing into her pillow, for no handsome Prince would search for a wrinkled Sleeping Beauty, she feared.

In a far distant land by the sea, gallant Lord Viggo, some years younger but no longer a youth, lived. He could feel her sorrow and confusion.

“Hark!” He called. “I shall scry for the sound of sorrow I hear.”

And, scry, he did.

“She ‘tis a vision of loveliness to me.” He said as he peered into the water. “A woman of wisdom and experience. No petulant youth need I put up with. And, her smile sets my heart free.”

‘Twas but a journey half way cross the land, to the woods where the beauty lay sleeping and where he dried her tears and they lay on the swing of her porch and watched the stars for a near eternal life.
THE END

I shall go and hideth my head under the pillow now.

Submitting my novel to Master's Daughter

I am one third of the way through my line edit. Since the first chapter has been edited a gazillion times, and the last two chapters are not complete, it will get slower as I go. I thought though that you might like to see my instructions to Master’s Daughter, who is doing an edit of my book. She is a teacher, mother of three (four, counting her bear of a husband), and a knitter with a busy life. I decided to send her installments so she can edit them at her leisure and not open her email and go, “OH NO!!” She did know it was coming eventually.

Dear loving and patient daughter, who is doing me an enormous favor:

I am attaching my completed chapters 1 through 7.

I am basically doing my final edit (till the very last two chapters) and have completed the attached, so rather than flooding you will all of it at once, I thought submitting it in installments might be better.

Believe me, I know you are busy and this is low on your list. So, don't panic. "Oh, no. I have to grade papers, feed children, knit, enjoy life and here's this thing." Don't worry. Just grab it when you are in the mood.

Mainly, I need checks on punctuation, grammar, tense, etc.
Second, IF YOU WANT, mark up anything else that needs help.

I want honesty. Total honesty. Because if you think it's crap, and you have read a lot of sixth grade novels, then there is a good chance editors/agents will agree. I would rather turn around and start something new and "hopefully not crap", or fix this (if there are just minor problems) than waste time on something that is going nowhere. I will not be heartbroken, perhaps bent a bit, but not broken.

One thing they say is , it is good to have editors put their first gut feeling in places that are either like "Wow, awesome scene." "Really tense" "Boring and slow" "What the hell is this about?" "Don't understand" "You are the second coming of ***" or "Go take a course in advertising copy. Maybe you can write that."

If you catch anything wrong, please mark it. Like not wrapping up plot points or "What the heck is the Plot supposed to be."

Love you.
Mom