Chapter four editing.

First, how do you like my new color? I am not a “pink” person. My whole closet is black, white and grey with just touches of bright colors. I would love to paint some golden yellow walls and maybe a red wall in an office, but I am not a pink person at all. However, I thought this looked restive. It must be the bubble gum affect.

Do you remember the bubble gum study? Years ago, they painted the jail holding cells bubble gum pink. There was a study that found out it was a calming color. Years later they found out it was not a valid study; or said that. We had done the parlor games where you have someone hold an arm out and try their best not to let you pull it down. Then, you hold up a bubble gum color paper (construction paper works), and they stare at it for a minute and then you tell them not to let you pull down their arm. You reach up and with little effort at all, you just pull their arm down.

So, stay mellow, and now for information on my ongoing edit.

I have been in a funk lately. Why? Who knows? Maybe I need to stare at Bubble Gum pink. But, I have tried to find something to say to all of you, and nothing sounded worth it. All it takes to get me going again is to receive a new Chapter back from Master’s Daughter with editing remarks.

I am just starting to go over the edit; but I will share some of what I have learned, so far.

I am finishing up on the first book in a proposed five book series. We are only up to Chapter four on our final edit, and I felt that I was perhaps telling too much in this chapter. It is a transition, from the world they lived in to the fantasy world they are traveling to. I was covering government and money, plus foreshadowing a future battle scene.

So, my editor’s general comments are that:

1. Do not remove the government section. My imagery is interesting and she feels it is helpful to understand about the “similarities and differences in the organization" of the magical world and our world.

2. The foreshadowing, of a future battle scene, definitely works.

3. Discussion of money: She feels kids would enjoy it and, being the first book in the series, it is a needed explanation of the basics.

4. What would be an exclamation word, that kids would use that would not date the book but be timely? The word “Awesome”was suggest by JRock and is agreed on by Master's Daughter; unless, she states, "I am going to use text messaging lingo." Trust me, I am NOT going there.

5. And, she does not like the straw man and, frankly, neither do I. It was one of those things that sounded funny when I wrote it and just stayed there. He has no purpose; he is not coming back into the story, so he is out.

Those are just primary impressions and now I shall go through comments and suggestions line by line and bid you adieu, until tomorrow.