STUPID QUERY ERRORS 101

I knew there were things wrong with the query I was working on. And, thanks to Mandy Hubbard - Query Day is Here!. My query is the sixth or seventh down in the list and, while query day is over, you can learn a ton by reading these queries and what she has to say.

We are told by "they." You know that great "they say, that..."? I subscribe to their blogs and web advice and then can get really confused at times. So, the first "they say," is that you should have the first paragraph personalized to the agent/editor you are sending it too.

One of my favorite agents states he wants to see everything. He is a nice person too, in helping people, even a total newbie to the world of blogs when I just could not get my comment posted for a test he was having. Okay, it's Nathan Bransford - Literary Agent: The 3rd Sort-of-Annual Stupendously Ultimate First Paragraph Challenge.

I had read to personalize the query but then not to try to be funny. Do I listen? No! And, yet I knew in my gut that I was trying too hard. You judge:

Dear (agent’s name)(personalized to agent)
I am writing to you because you seem to have boundless energy and enthusiasm. Why else would you put yourself through judging so many on-line contests? Okay, perhaps you are a bit masochistic too. You always say that, even if the book is not perfect for your list, “Send it to me first.” I try to follow orders.

There are TWO MAJOR ERRORS here.

1. Just being way too personal and maybe even offensive by saying he is masochistic. (There is a reason I do not work as a comic.)
2. Even though he does say, "Send it to me first." My Middle Grade Fantasy is NOT on his list. Now, that doesn't mean he would not accept it, but should I really tell the agent I would like to have represent me that my work does not fit???

Okay, dumb moments of an author, post one, is done for the day. Next post, the most important paragraph you will ever write, and getting it right!

Colons and commas and Semi-Colons, OH MY!!!!

It has been a long time since I was in school and found it essential to have good grammar and punctuation skills. Hence, I have pulled out my trusty copy of Diana Hacker's A Writer's Reference. http://www.amazon.com/Writers-Reference-Diana-Hacker/dp/031202455X/ref=sr_11_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1243211518&sr=11-1

I have re-learned/re-freshed my skills with colons and semi-colons and commas; colons being those pesky things which I use way too often.

Okay, was that right? Is that second half of "equal grammatical rank?"

My real lesson with this book though, has been tense.

About a year ago, I entered one of agent, Nathan Bransford's contests. Nathan Bransford - Literary Agent. Occasionally, this masochistic man will offer to read a bazillion entries of the first "x" number of words of any novel you are working on. I was not one of the winners but I did take another reader's offer of critiquing them and the first thing he said, is that I had two tenses going on.

I thought I had gone in and corrected this, but I knew I had not been thorough enough, so after my character charts were over, I started from word one and began reading the book, sentence by sentence. My first page or so was in present tense, then I slipped (with no good reason, if there ever is one) to past tense.

For some reason, if I can keep my Writer's Reference, right beside my laptop, to keep glancing at, page 39, it becomes clear to my foggy brain.

Now, if I can just do something about run-on sentences, in my blog!!!

Young Adult novel, revising critique & never ending revision

Okay, couldn’t fool you on that last post. Tonight my Middle Grade novel became a Young Adult Novel. I have read the definitive reason on deciding how, The Difference Between Middle Grade & Young Adult, when it is meant for an 11/12 year old age group.

My book does have the subject of child abuse as a part of the story and this will probably put it into a more advanced Middle Grade category. With everything else I am fretting over, including yet another opening, I am not too concerned about this. It's for my agent/editor to decide.

A third draft of my query letter states: "When Alex and his two brothers decide they have had enough, they run away from home with the help of a half man/half black dragon and a deteriorating house fairy. But, that is only the start of Alex’ battle as he must learn to accept help from others and learn what being a friend means." This battle, for Alex, is due to his past neglect and abuse.

Now, if I could just find that perfect opening for my story. I just recently began revising my opening again after entering it in Nathan Bransford - Literary Agent's first paragraph contest. His comments about what an agent use to judge that all important paragraph, opened my eyes to the deficiencies in mine. I'm sure my personal editor will be just soooooo happy.

Three things to get ready during your final edit

Master’s daughter and I are up to Chapter five in the final edit. In between the twenty other jobs she has at any one time, I am working ahead as the end of the book was less edited, by me, than the first half. And, when I take a break from that I read editor’s and agent’s blogs.

I am focusing on blogs that detail things like:

Writing the perfect Query letter- my favorite is Nathan Bransford - Literary Agent: Query Letter Mad Lib. He has several posts on writing a query.


The real chore for me is how to do write a synopsis. Author! Author! » Synopses is a good place to look. It is a blog that meandures a bit, but has a wealth of information for writers.


Putting together two writer's biographies. Author! Author! » Author bio has several blogs on writing your bio. They lay it out in a very simple manner.

A writer’s biography is something I had not thought a lot about. I have always had resumes and artist’s resumes. I had just not thought about needing to have your writer’s bio polished up and ready for submitting immediately. I guess I was thinking, you get an agent, you get a publisher, and somewhere along the way they say, “We need a bio for your flap copy, oh, in a few months.” Not so!!!

You need to have two ready. One for the agent to help sell you and one, shorter one, for your book flap. We are using positive reinforcement here.


I have noticed a change in author’s biographies. I am seeing more and more that represent the author’s writing, rather than just dryly saying, “He graduated from no-name college and lives in Nevada with his wife and three children.”

It is a great trend. It makes the author a real person and gives you insight into what his writing is like. My problem though, is I really think I am much funnier with my biography, than I am in my book. It is good I can see the humor in my life but is it going to give someone a false sense of the humor, which may not be there, in my book? I do not want to disappoint.

Will typhoid Sheryl strike again?

I was working a job I hated, for the possibly worse lawyer boss on the face of the earth, and decided to try a career of typing up transcripts for the Court Reporters. I knew one reporter, from my secretarial job, and she needed someone to do her typing. Things were going well and I was thinking about marketing and expanding, when they came out with a computer program that did it for the Reporters. Thus, ending my job.

Then, being an artist who loves painting people, I looked at my market and decided to do Native Americans. I was really tired of painting deceased children. This is what my "paint people" marketing was bringing in. It is a depressing thing to do on a daily basis and most of the parents, I was meeting, just did not seem to be ready for it.

I had a love of the Native American culture and was raised to believe I had Native heritage. I started exhibiting at Pow Wows and marketing my work in the Western artist market and before long, I was exhibiting in National shows, being asked to do things like deceased actor Will Sampson's (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest) portrait. I was also getting written up in SouthWest Art Magazine. Then, as I start selling a large original every month, the bottom drops out of the native market. Shows started closing and frankly, I was out of marketing money, having made a bad decisions, based on SouthWest Art's Magazine add salesman. Sometime I will tell you about my opinion of advertising salesmen. Another career bites the dust.

We moved to Wyoming and I begin putting together my pottery studio and man that stuff sold so fast I could not keep up. I could barely keep up with the sales of my animal drawings and had a list of commissions to keep me busy. The time came when, Casper, Wyoming being a city, at the time of around 60,000 people, I realized that I had pretty well reached my clients. I could branch out into other states but my husband's health was deteriorating. So, when I was downsized at the College, we decided to move back to Indiana.

We decided that the artist town of Nashville, Indiana was our target. It had an active community of artists and was only three hours drive from daughter and husband's relatives. We moved, we remodeled a horse barn for my studio, I joined the local art guilds and the Brown County Studio and Garden Tours 2008. Actually, I joined the tour of 2004. That year I made more in sales than I had in two years in Wyoming, and my income doubled the next year and again the next year. Had I, at last, found my niche?

Some unknown illness was beating me down and I was gradually unable to do pottery. I quit the tour to build up my health and I, are you ready, began making eight inch tall polymer clay fairies and selling them on eBay. My last one sold for $700. That was about six months before emergency heart surgery. Recovering now, I could go back to doing that but since prices on eBay have dropped well over twenty-five percent, and still going down. I do feel I have again hit an occupation just as it was falling into the great abyss.

I refuse to believe I caused these things to happen. I just seem to have a knack for getting into things at the wrong time. I stay away from the stock market because, well- I can't afford it, but also it is in enough trouble already.

Now, my final edit is over half done and I am working on some marketing, and a lot of research to do the best query I can. So, it was with some delight, that I recently read The 26th Story: George Jones Q & A . This was actually a link on Nathan Bransford - Literary Agent blog. George Jones is the President and CEO of Borders Group, Inc. And, news is not so bad.

So, I hope you excuse if I am not posting as often as I would like, but I gotta hurry before the bottom drops out. Hopefully, with the confidence of Mr. Jones, it will stay strong for us and break my streak.