You really MUST read it aloud

As many times as I thought I had just one more edit, I do believe, this last edit was the last edit. It was the "read it aloud" edit and I am here to tell you that it is the one edit you must not skip. Nothing compares to you reading it outloud. You cannot do it while reading it to another person either. Do it alone. You will find all kinds of things, like places where the word "began" is better than the word "started", or where you should have a comma where a period should be or vice versa.

Husband was gone for three days picking up oldest son, Gaffer, from Duluth, Minnesota, where he was stranded after a three month futile job search. The second boy, EMT, was working each day and the youngest, JRock, was in school, so I took those three days to read my book. It was highly productive.

I had recently printed it out and had husband and EMT do their read throughs, marking comments. Now, it is Gaffer's and daughter's turn. I will take all the help I can get.

So, after having a month of power outages, a tornado and a large limb on my roof, and a computer melt-down, I am off to work on all those pesky things I need to submit. First up, is my log line and, while I have written about that before, I have found some new help, think I have a good one written and will write about that next post; providing I have power. It went on and off twice so far this morning.

The Orphan Boy- a Richly Textured Children's book

I love Picture Books

I have been known to take a canvas bag to the library and load it up with Caldecott winners. One of the things I miss most about having little grandkids around, is I have no one to read to. JRock is sixteen now and he just is not interested in King Bidgood anymore. I can have a blast making a total fool of myself reading King Bidgood's in the Bathtub. I will read to any child – at the Doctor’s office, at the library, on the bus. It makes no mind to me, as long as it is a good book.

Not all books are equal. Daughter-of-eleven loves books but has no distinction between them. She thinks that Barbie’s Picnic deserves shelf space with Matthew’s Dragon and anything by Audrey and Don Woods. I, however, refuse to read Barbie’s Picnic a second time.

One of my all time favorite children’s books is The Orphan Boy, A Maasai Story by Tololwa M. Mollel and illustrated by Paul Morin. Amazon.com: The Orphan Boy: Tololwa M. Mollel, Paul Morin: Books I am approaching this as a visual artist and this book has some of the most outstanding illustrations I have seen. It was published by Clarion Books, New York.

The back blurb reads: “At dawn the planet Venus appears in the east as the morning star. At night-fall it is the evening star in the west. The Maasaid call this star Kileken, the orphan boy. This traditional story from Africa explains the reason Kileken appears in the sky both morning and night.”

Beside the story, which is well worth reading, the illustrations are painted and the artist's canvas is visible to add texture to the pictures. This book is so richly textured that you can feel the heat of the African sun and the cool of the moonlit night. The canvas itself adds life to the morning sunrise. The artist has then added, perhaps using gesso with sticks or string or other additions, another dimension. I have scaned a few of the illustrations in, as Amazon does not do them justice.


This is but one half of the picture. I wish my scanner was larger to show it all. Note the texture in the foreground. The cattle go off into the sunset in the upper right corner.


I know the books binding here is in the way but the fabric and then the yellow highlighting to the right adds so much dimension, I wanted to show it.

This is also only part of a picture but I wanted you to see the way the artist has used texture in these illustrations.

Wednesday with the Writer's Journal: fortunate or not?

I have been a bit distracted lately; elections and slander adds and the flu. Yes, we have the flue here.

I was ill Monday and we do not want to discuss how I was ill either; trust me on that. I then stayed up late Tuesday, trying to scry from CNN just who was going to win, right up until President elect Obama's acceptance speech. I made the big mistake Tuesday and took mom shopping. I was just not recovered, from my flu, and I had arms and legs of lead. I had to drag myself around.

While I was standing in Krogers (I had lost my mother and was too tired to find her), I heard a conversation between two men. They were discussing the one man’s wife; who had just come from her daily radiation treatment. When that ends, she will have chemotherapy again. That’s when it hit me.

I am so lucky!

And, that is what today is about. We pretend it is June 13th and answer the question: Do you think you are fortunate or unfortunate?

Well, first, I can rest up for a day or two and then work on exercising again. I do not have to go through chemotherapy or radiation or worry about survival. I remember what my brother went through, for two years, before he died. I am so fortunate not to be going through cancer.

I have a decent car; that I even love. I still remember driving the ones without air conditioning, working windows or mufflers.

There is food on our shelves and we do have a roof over our head; even if one little part leaks occasionally.

When I let the dog out at night, I can see the stars and hear the crickets and see the shadows of the trees in front of a darkening sky. In the daytime, I see the fall colors and, now green tomatoes, and the sad baby watermelons that will never grow big. I even finally have a pumpkin bloom. Later is better than never. Next year, I plant earlier.

My edit with Master’s daughter is working really well. She added three words to one page that are close to being my favorite three words in the whole book, and she has helped me cut the deadwood. Gotta give that girl a lot of credit!

I am looking forward to meeting Army grandson’s wife. I am looking forward to giving a big hug to Gaffer. I am so looking forward to Christmas at my daughters, where I feel like I am in a luxury hotel with fine wine and fine food and great company. We laugh a lot. A LOT! And, I get to spend time with the rest of the grandsons, up north.

The boys are doing well. EMT is graduating in June and starting to work in his practical training as an RN. He may join the military also for a savings on tuition. JRock’s grades are going up and we have found a guitar teacher we can afford. It is amazing how the promise of guitar lessons translated into better grades. Motivation folks! It’s the key.

And, this is really long, and I imagine everyone is very tired from partying all night, so that is another thing I am so grateful for. Not for being tired, but for living in a country that constantly evolves and improves itself. Where hard work counts more than the color of a man or woman’s skin. A country where we can vote and care.

What my personal editor taught me

Here is a flower from my garden, this past summer. 'Tis the season to cover the garden at night, pick the seeds and run in to warm up. I ran in last night to a great email from my personal editor.

YIPPEE!! Last night I received a partial first chapter edit from Master’s Daughter. Gosh, what an eye opener.

FIRST: All my charts and trying to keep track: I am new to Word and never had a Word Processor before that had comments on it. As a legal secretary, I had long used WordPerfect, at work and home. The last few updates though have taken it down the tubes. It jams constantly. The charts I have been making are being, figuratively, burned and I am using comments to put in foreshadowing etc. It also helps my editor, daughter, know that yes, this is an important point to leave in. Honest girl, it will make sense some day.

This will really help me too as some things are mentioned because it is laying a bit of groundwork for book two or three, and even five, in this five book series.

SECOND: Oh, how long ago Jr High school was. I did teach art to Jr High students for three weeks a summer, for five years. JRockGuitarMan, one of my step-son/grandson/ward came to live with me and entered seventh grade, so I had a refresher. But, there are things I just need to keep in mind and I was not. While, I may not always act my age, I have forgotten some of how a Jr High student’s mind works and Master’s daughter teaches them every day, so she is catching those things.

Her comments include:

“Reader is now thinking …”
“Needs transition”
“Reader’s thought: Is ‘glint’ an object or a reflection?”
“This doesn’t seem to fit here; awkward.”
And more

I worked on her comments and am now ahead of her edit and hoping to send the rest of Chapter 1 and then chapter 2 in a few days. Somehow, I must have sent her a partial first chapter. We are going to work on this chapter by chapter. It will be so much easier to track things now with Words comments.

I feel like I am back on track, thanks to my own personal editor.